I can't see your star.

Since it was too early to actually do anything useful I made a memorial avatar for Spinel. I am quite pleased with how it turned out. I did the heart and lines by hand.



I also did an Ultraviolet avatar forever ago and forgot to post it. ^^' Hope you like it.



I think I'm going to do some scrapbooking now. Hopefully concentrating on his life and not his death will help me at least have happy dreams of him. I don't mind dreaming of Spinel, I just don't like nightmares about him. It's all about context. >.<

The new Evanescense CD is really really good, BTW. Go out and buy it. Now. What are you waiting for? You are wasting precious minutes not listning to it.

Made with more stuff from Celestial Star and another bitmap font from Bitmap Mania.

Restless

Such a rarity, it's 5 am and I can't sleep. Usually when Shaggy goes to work I roll over and I'm sawing logs within minutes.

I had a nightmare about Spinel though. :( I really don't want to go into details and for me nightmares are a common thing (neutral and bad dreams outnumber good dreams 10:1 on average for me.) but this one really has me shaken.

I was doing really good at avoiding over stimulation before bed. I kept to my nightly ritual schedual, which is my mind's off switch. Stayed up later then usual to make myself really sleepy and the whole shebang. But I let my gaurd down and was hit like a ton of bricks.

I think it didn't help that I started taking the cages down Thursday to rebuild. It was really emotional for me taking his cage down and cleaning his stuff. I know it needed to be done but it feels like another part of him is gone. :(

His ashes are also taking longer then expected. The crematorium broke down for a day or two and they are dealing with the back log. I just want my little man home so badly. I think it will really help bring closure to all of us. His shrine is ready and waiting for him. I finished the candle holders, put the candles in (the same kind my SIL used at her wedding but in blues/greens) arranged the My Little Ponies on the shelf and even picked up a nice offering dish in the same colours as the candles for 89 cents at Canadian Tire. (Debbie Travis brand to boot. I love that woman's stuff. It was the last one in that colour and it was marked down. I think the gods were nudging me towards it since I didn't even need anything in that aisle.)

I'm going to visit my new little girl pig today. I am sure that will help a ton. She's on pregnancy watch so we decided it was best she stay with her foster parents untill we are pretty sure she isn't pregnant. I don't have much experience with pregnancy in general let alone with guinea pigs and somehow I don't think right now is the best time to learn.

The the very least seeing the little creature I'm building this huge cage for will make my sore hands seem not so bad. Cage building can really be hard sometimes, but I want to take my time and do it right this time. I really really don't want to be rebuilding the cage again any time soon. :/

The first steps on the journey home.

We took Spinel Sun to be cremated at Toronto Animal Services yesterday. Leaving him there has had to have been on of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I will feel much better when I get his ashes back. It will feel a lot less like I abandoning him. :(

As a spur of the moment thing I decided to donate $5 to TAS in Spinel's honor. I hope even just that little amount goes to helping other guinea pigs find forever homes.

I ended up putting a few more things in the box with him. He was wraped in the t-shirt he passed in. I put the envelope with the hair clippings and message in. I took the Sun card out of my Aurtharian Tarot deck and tucked it in with him. He embodied so many of the Sun's qualities. Then I set a single dried red rose on the top to let him know just how much we love him and miss him.

They told me to tape his box at TAS but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I had bought him such a pretty box. So I tied it with a white ribbon.

We took a cab there. Finding a cab at 5 pm was so hard. It was quite a long ride there. Shaggy tried to keep my mind off of things by talking about work, but I just wasn't in the mood.

Shaggy has been so wonderfully accomidating during this entire process. We have been sleeping on the sofa untill we can get new bed linens. And he's been helping me around the house a little more then usual. I don't know what I would do without him.

When we got back we came home to find that Lina was bleeding from her lady parts. This has happened before, right before we went on vacation. We think she has been cutting herself on the hay. It cleared up by 10 pm but I am so beside myself over this. I took the litter box out of the cage and Shaggy helped me make a quick temporary hay rack. We will be taking her in for a check up soon. It's been a little over a year and she's an older piggie. I am sure it can't hurt to take her in to make sure everything is OK.

Kerberos is taking Spinel's passing the hardest. I am glad we switched the cages before he passed. Having Spinel's things around him seems to be helping. He has been a bit more subdued and has been a bit more picky about his veggies. I hope he feels better soon. I hope we all do.

Shaggy wants me to go to his sister's wedding this weekend. He thinks it will be good for me. I might go. I'm not sure. I'll make sure I'll have everything I need to go down and I guess I'll just play it by ear.

Preperations

We did Spinel's footprints today. They turned out lovely. Shaggy had to do the imprints as I couldn't handle him without breaking down.

We made an up an envelope to put in the box with him for his cremation. It has a clip of everyone's hair in it and a ribbon. I placed a note to him about the ties that bind us in the envelope. I hope it helps us stay linked over the plains of existence.

I have been approved for a beautiful little girl pig to join our family. I just couldn't stand the silence here. I hope that together we can make this ending into a beginning.

I felt horrible about adopting another piggie so soon, but I felt that if I had a home to offer and she needed a home that Spinel would have wanted me to help her

I miss him so damn much. :(

Good Night, Spinel Sun.

Spinel Sun passed from this life at 11 AM today. He passed in my arms among loved ones. He had been with us a little over a year. He passed due to complications from old age. He will be missed by family, friends and those who only got to know him on the web.

He will be missed very, very much by Shaggy and myself, his human parents. His ladies, Sakura, Tomoyo and Lina will miss his wit and love. Kerberos will miss his friend and rival. Shampoo and Ukyou, our cats will miss the only guinea pig in our home that didn't chase their tails. The fish will miss their neighbor.

Spinel Sun was a very friendly guinea pig. He loved to talk all the time, and always seemed to be happy about something. He loved to be petted and held. He was a very determined little guinea pig and managed to escape his cage several times.

Spinel Sun did not have the greatest start in life. He was brought into animal control as a stray. He then languished in animal control over the summer until we gave him a forever home.

He adapted quickly to home life. He was loved and cherished. He learned very quickly how to wrap us all around his little paw. He was very quick to let us know that carrots were his favorite treat. And he learned very quickly how to get more carrots out of Shaggy and I.

About this time last year, he fell very ill. We later found out that he had a heart problem. But top-notch medical care gave us borrowed time. Even after going blind around Imbolc, it did not get his spirits down. We had a year of smiles, laughter and carrots. Lots of carrots.

There are two threads where you can read about Spinel and all of his friends online. He has a thread on Guinea Lynx and a thread on Guinea Pig Cages You are welcome to leave comments there if you are a member.

Spinel Sun came into my life when I needed someone who loved me no matter what. No matter my mood and regardless of the fact that I could no longer function as I had months before. What did it matter to him that I could not lift heavy things or go skiing? I could pick up his little piggie bum to snuggle and that's all that mattered. I needed him and he needed me.

But now the Guinea Pig Gods need him more then I. But I am sure one day we will meet again over the Rainbow Bridge.

Here are some pictures of Spinel Sun. He was quite the handsome guinea pig:











A listing will go up next week on the Rainbow Bridge website and all are welcome to attend a cyber service for all the pets that have passed through the veil this week. He will be cremated this Friday.

Comments are welcomed and encouraged.

Good night my little man. You're always in our hearts.

Technical difficulties

I just wrote out a big long complicated post about all the stuff I have been up to as of late.

But iBlog ate it.



Have a sheep.

I'll try again later. ^^'