Restless

Such a rarity, it's 5 am and I can't sleep. Usually when Shaggy goes to work I roll over and I'm sawing logs within minutes.

I had a nightmare about Spinel though. :( I really don't want to go into details and for me nightmares are a common thing (neutral and bad dreams outnumber good dreams 10:1 on average for me.) but this one really has me shaken.

I was doing really good at avoiding over stimulation before bed. I kept to my nightly ritual schedual, which is my mind's off switch. Stayed up later then usual to make myself really sleepy and the whole shebang. But I let my gaurd down and was hit like a ton of bricks.

I think it didn't help that I started taking the cages down Thursday to rebuild. It was really emotional for me taking his cage down and cleaning his stuff. I know it needed to be done but it feels like another part of him is gone. :(

His ashes are also taking longer then expected. The crematorium broke down for a day or two and they are dealing with the back log. I just want my little man home so badly. I think it will really help bring closure to all of us. His shrine is ready and waiting for him. I finished the candle holders, put the candles in (the same kind my SIL used at her wedding but in blues/greens) arranged the My Little Ponies on the shelf and even picked up a nice offering dish in the same colours as the candles for 89 cents at Canadian Tire. (Debbie Travis brand to boot. I love that woman's stuff. It was the last one in that colour and it was marked down. I think the gods were nudging me towards it since I didn't even need anything in that aisle.)

I'm going to visit my new little girl pig today. I am sure that will help a ton. She's on pregnancy watch so we decided it was best she stay with her foster parents untill we are pretty sure she isn't pregnant. I don't have much experience with pregnancy in general let alone with guinea pigs and somehow I don't think right now is the best time to learn.

The the very least seeing the little creature I'm building this huge cage for will make my sore hands seem not so bad. Cage building can really be hard sometimes, but I want to take my time and do it right this time. I really really don't want to be rebuilding the cage again any time soon. :/